The platelet count and Dr. Herzog agreed, Â 6 cycles of the modified BEACOPP were all that my bone marrow was going to stomach (I hope platelets have stomachs, that would make me very happy). As such, I flew home, had another PET scan (which showed just one spot which we will radiate), met with all sorts of MDs, had my infected port removed, blah blah data data.
It is nice to be home, it is nice to be able to cook what I want when I want to, it is nice to sleep in my own bed, scratch my own kitty, kiss my husband's nose.
I will miss the sauna, the amazing peeps I met from all over the world, the kindness of the nurses and the MDs, and the relaxed attitude the clinic held towards certain things (like eating salad while severely neutropenic). Aufedersein Bad Salzhausen.
I spent 92 days in Germany (two days thankfully were not counted by the German government - otherwise I would have overstayed my visa and Germany may have gotten annoyed).
I am working on our new life in New York - get the house built, planning what kind of animals (chickens and ducks AND goats?) and planting and growing goodies again...I miss having a garden.
As a very wise woman told me - "If you stop planning you are surrendering." - not an option. So, planning I am.
A beautiful dear friend of mine (you can read her blog!) shared with me this quote - it is the perfect pause at the end of this particular chapter.
[quote]I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
â€• Gilda Radner[/quote]
Thank you for being with me on this story of mine. Delicious Ambiguity indeed.