Eckhart Tolle speaks of the Pain Body and being born with such and how childhood tantrums can be a result of the emotional body of the child growing into its Pain Body. Rudolf Steiner speaks of the 6 year transition as a formative one for children as a time of separation and independence - hallmarked often by rebellion and lashing out.
As with all things, I think these are actually the same things.
Here is the scene. An early morning awakening to a beautiful morning - the sun is shining, I meditate outside and scratch the dog till about 6:50 when I come into the house. I start the process of breakfast and the Bean comes upstairs.
I go to the head of the stairs to greet her.
“Good morning my beloved!”
“What are we having for breakfast?”
“Yuck, I hate blueberry pancakes. I wanted oatmeal.”
She brushes past me and stomps into the kitchen. I take a deep breath.
“And I wanted the blueberries not in the pancakes. I hate them in the pancakes! Momma!!”
I take another breath and think of my calm morning listening to the birds. “Momma remembered! I saved you some blueberries to eat on the side.”
“Why do you always make yucky food?”
Deep breathing, deep breathing, deep breathing. I had this image of an apple bin with the one rotten apple seeping into the healthy skin of the others and turning them all to mush. How can I, as the parent, not get pulled into the rotten mush of a maturing child who is both learning separation and mourning the separation?
Compassion for her transition as she emerges into herself. Patience for her growing into the pain body and growing into the separation. The separation that I am untangling in my adult life. No wonder she is cranky and short tempered. I am sure a part of her knows what is going on and resents it and is mad - I would be.
Then again, that is why we are here. Deep breaths for us all.