Vorfreude: relaxing @ rollercoaster results

Vorfreude ("for-froi-da") is the joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures, which, I am thrilled to report, is what this musing is all about. Yesterday I received scan results. I spent the morning breathing and balancing and breathing and balancing (like my elephant) and then the oncologist walked into the room

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Why politics feeds my wrong wolf

As I spoke about in my book, I try not to feed the wrong wolf (when I am conscious enough to recognize what is going on). However, it is nice to know what is going on with the world. So I am torn because politics makes me CRAZY! I can feel my heart rate rise, my blood pressure spike, my parasympathic nervous system shut down...and for what? 

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A wheatgrass machine sounds like a cow (und scan update, und A Course in Miracles...)

I know this sounds naive, but I have never stood next to a cow in the silence of a quiet field and listened to it tear up grass and chew. My first thought was, "that sounds like a wheatgrass machine," my second thought was, "maybe we should give nature first dibs on sounds - a wheatgrass machine sounds like a cow." 

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Thank you Detroit News Herald!

Check out this great article from Amy Bell - this amazing world of technology means that I was able to talk to her in Germany last week via my computer. Thank you Amy! ANN ARBOR: Former resident featured on "The Doctors" for her 'mind over approach' to Hodgkins Lymphoma

Today about to head in for my day 8 of infusion goodness from the "red couch" waiting area - one of the residents at the clinic told me that his sister lives in Ann Arbor, saw this article, and asked him about it!

Life is AMAZING!

Mastering my mindset...(requires constant vigilance)

A dear friend of mine wrote to me over a year ago an email about my book - and I knew it was important. I would read it and think of what it meant and read it again. I wrote out her email onto two post it notes, now folded and wrinkled. Tape is frayed on the edges from where it used to attach onto my computer monitor. This is what she said to me: "Dear Corinna, Your book is very different from other cancer survivors. Young. Refused to say yes, etc. The acceptance of your U of M doctors as you groped. Unusual in many ways. When you write don't follow formula for these kinds of books. Many r terrific. But they are not for your audience or not as much. Be clear about what is different. This is your story. - C. 6/22/10"

So here I am, over 14 months later - trying to work with my great publicist found through Balboa Press to put together a succinct intriguing 150 word phrase to pull people in. I wrote over 80,000 words and I am distilling that down to 150.

Then I struck on this phrase - "this book shows the myriad ways her relationship to the world is transformed because she transforms how she looks at the world." Which is remarkably providential because my inspiring and luminary friend Kelvin Ringold of Intensely Positive started recently signing off his Vitamin K  daily inspirational goodies with "Master your mindset and master your life."

Mastering my mindset takes work and awareness. It takes constant vigilance! (thank you JK Rowling). It takes a sense of humor and it takes patience.

I began the process when I wrote my book, going through my old journals and rereading what I wrote at the time, it continued when I read Eckhart Tolle. It continues every day I catch myself thinking a thought that is not so nice, being angry with my body for not being able to do something that it used to be able to do well (or at least that I remember as being so).

Stupid chemotherapy, I used to do this so easily.

I caught myself yesterday as we rushed through 5 sun salutations as quickly as we could in yoga class. I stood there with my heart POUNDING in my chest, lungs burning, dizzy, eyes closed and my first thought was to hate - HATE - (a word of huge yuckiness) my body. Then my awareness caught up.

Corinna! I have lungs that can burn and a heart that can thump. I have a beautiful body that is working hard to do what I ask of it! Be grateful for the taste of iron in your blood - I am ALIVE!

Thank you world, I am alive.

I Dreamt of Sausage Reviews for 2nd edition!!

"Survival behavior relates to one's personality characteristics. Corinna's book shares many of these factors and makes them easy to understand because she is a native who has lived the problem and can share her experience. It is real and practical and useful for those confronting cancer and other problems."

Bernie Siegel, MD author of Faith, Hope & Healing and 365 Prescriptions For The Soul. (Thank you Bernie!)

"This is a MUST-read for anyone dealing with cancer or involved with anyone who is. What do you do when your life is shattered by a cancer diagnosis? What forms of treatment do you choose? Why did you get cancer in the first place? Follow one woman's amazing journey as she shares her innermost thoughts and feelings on her quests for wellness."

Carolyn L. Mein, DC, author of Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils and Different Bodies, Different Diets (Thank you Carolyn!)