I learned a new word yesterday - forgetory.
There is the memory “that lives in the front of your head, right here Momma, near your nose” (she is pointing next to her nose) and the “forgetory - that lives in the back of your head.”
The Course in Miracles is very clear about the two realities. (what is fun about writing that is that I have experienced those two realities, which is, ahhh, super cool, just saying, thank you God.)
In one reality is the world of war, rape, disease, sickness, jealousy, judgements… etc etc. In true reality we are all the same because we are all God. ACIM is very clear in saying that while we may think we have tons of discreet problems in this reality, that is a creation of the ego - there is only one problem and there is only one solution.
The one problem is that we have forgotten that we are God/Love and the one solution is God/Love.
When I was about 13 years old I vividly remember asking the Universe to for a life to stretch me, to challenge my hangups, to force my soul and beingness to grow and learn and evolve. The Universe heard me.
30th birthday present… stage 4 cancer. Boom.
Here I am, about to turn 42, a bit less plump and bouncy physically but oh so much wiser.
I can hear my 80 year old giggling at that statement. Regardless, here we go, immortal words of wisdom from one who is basically repeating what sages have known for aeons.
Spend the Amrit Vela with God. Wake up early (between 3-6) and meditate, do yoga, pray, and spend time being held by the Divine. Rest in God deliberately, with focus and intent.
We are born. We know we are part of God. We are eternal and loved and loving. Then, as Marianne says, “we have a childhood” and we enter into the reality of the ego.
The reality of not-enoughness, the reality that we are separate creatures from each other and God, the reality that we are striving with our fellow humans to collect pieces of paper, or zeros, or relationships to fulfill the chasm in our souls from our disconnection from the true Reality.
The true Reality. We are God, we are one, we are beloved, expansive, held, able to live every moment with Love in our thoughts, hands, hearts, and eyes. We are enough just the way we are and all we need to do is relax.
A few months ago I was talking about a woman who had died. “The worst part,” her closer friend shares with me, “is that her kids keep on asking me if I have a letter or a note from her for them - and I keep on having to say no.”
So here we go, my winter project, write letters to my children. Just in case. Why not?
Letters for their birthdays, letters when they graduate from college/run away from home/join a cult, letters when they get married. Letter when it is a random Tuesday in March 2042 to tell them I love them.
You never know in this life. Isn’t the idea of doing this now, in health, with facilities intact, without the cancer industrial complex breathing down my neck, make it seem more of a gift than a chore?
I think so. I feel so. I know so.
So, obviously, the evening of May 7 was really an experience beyond words. Initially, I was euphoric. Totally high, in love with the world, experiencing the gift of oneness and in awe of what happened.
As the experience lost its immediacy and tactile sharpness - I spent time mourning the shift. But then, the Universe did something amazing (not that I am surprised).
I started receiving nudges reinforcing what happened - during a yoga class, or a conversation, or in my A Course in Miracles (ACIM) reading. Nudges that strengthened what I had seen or learned or understood (again, words are hard).
Here are the nudges I received from ACIM over the last 6 weeks or so. Nudges that led me to share my story.