Post death God immersion integration, thank you A Course in Miracles!

So, obviously, the evening of May 7 was really an experience beyond words. Initially, I was euphoric. Totally high, in love with the world, experiencing the gift of oneness and in awe of what happened.

As the experience lost its immediacy and tactile sharpness - I spent time mourning the shift. But then, the Universe did something amazing (not that I am surprised).

I started receiving nudges reinforcing what happened - during a yoga class, or a conversation, or in my A Course in Miracles (ACIM) reading. Nudges that strengthened what I had seen or learned or understood (again, words are hard).

Here are the nudges I received from ACIM over the last 6 weeks or so. Nudges that led me to share my story.

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The day I died... and merged with God (emerged from God)

The day I died... and merged with God (emerged from God)

In the beginning there was the Word and the Word was a big bang. So here goes - my big bang.

May 7, 2018, my heart stopped. No heartbeat. Then, after a bit, it started again. That kicked off the evening where I merged with God and spoke and understood life from my God Self.

This is what I know. We are all the same. All is God. All is love. Beneath every … every moment is either fear that tightens the body or the invitation to relax into the Divine hug that awaits us all. God is waiting for us to relax into Him and see ourselves as one.

Yes, okay, backing up.*

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Lessons from the land of surrogacy (part 2 of 2)

“I had a dream that I am supposed to carry your baby. I want to be your surrogate.”

“No you don’t. You are crazy.”

Katie and I have that kind of friendship. Eight years ago we were thrown together in a unfamiliar Midwest town for our husbands’ surgical residency training - and we created our own family.

What started out as regular Sunday dinners and movie nights morphed into Katie driving me home from medical procedures. Her two-year-old son would jump on the trampoline at summer BBQs - the trampoline I had purchased to detoxify my lymphatic system.

A few years, three frozen embryos, and several biopsy scars later that same son turned to me one Super Bowl Party, “Corinna, put your hair back on, you look better with it on.”

His father, mortified, turns to me, “He didn’t mean that, he doesn’t understand.”

“No, it is a good point, I am a bit of a egghead - especially without any eyebrows.”

My husband’s birthday one year happened to occur when I was still in quarantine on the Bone Marrow Transplant Floor. Katie and her family were the only friends we invited.

We finished our residency. Katie and her family returned to the West Coast and we returned East. A new biopsy scar in my armpit joined the ones on my neck and I said goodbye to my hair again. I also said goodbye to waddling and complaining of swollen ankles, to cute shirts over leggings, to resting a glass of carrot juice on my belly and watching it dance with hiccups. Goodbye to being kicked from the inside. Goodbye to George kissing my belly with paternal pride. We read pamphlets filled with pictures of the Gerber baby and saved money for a surrogate.

In February, just when we are ready to sign a surrogacy contract, Katie called me. I was not able to talk her out of her extraordinary offer.

Later that year, the doctor placed one embryo we had frozen 6 years ago into Katie’s uterus. She gave herself daily shots, made appointments for acupuncture because she knew I wanted it, stopped exercising, educated her children about momma cells and pappa cells coming together, and prayed with her priest.

The day we came home from the implantation at the clinic Katie’s 5-year-old daughter ran up to her momma laying on the couch, leaned over, and kissed Katie’s belly, “Grow baby grow. Grow baby grow.”

During our husband’s training, our friendship became familial. We are adding complexity and depth to that familial relationship by literally adding another member to our family.

Our baby is due in April. Katie, mine, my husband, her husband, and her children - all of us are having this baby. Grow Baby Grow.

 (this is the first one in this short lived series - some things are better to be kept close to the chest)

Faith is a choice: thank you Joao de Deus!

IMG_5447Unlike my last visit to John of God, where I was not present for any physical surgeries - this time I saw several of them (if you want to see videos, there are many available). I saw a woman lean against a wall, the Entity incorporated in Medium Joao bared her breast, did a 3 cm incision, used his hand to pump out blood (which splashed on the floor), stitched her up with a few sutures, and then she was wheeled away to lie down. There was no anesthesia, no Betadine to wash the skin prior to cutting, no gloves... just Blessed Water and the Entity. I could see the blood vessels and the thick skin, I could see ligaments and fat, it was awe-inspiriting. I saw the woman a few days later in the garden drinking coconut juice from a coconut - right as rain.

A different woman's eyes was scraped with a knife, yet another had a long pair of clamps shoved into her nose and rotated around, a man was cut open much like the woman above - every single one of them stood against a wall with their eyes closed - no yelling, no screaming, no drama. Just standing on a stage with a room full of silent watchers who had just said the Lord's Prayer.

(speaking of which I really prefer the Lord's Prayer that has been translated directly from the Aramaic - as opposed to from the Aramaic to Greek to Latin to Old English to English - thank you Heather for putting this in your book)

[quote]O Cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration. Soften the ground of our being and carve out a space within us where Your presence can abide. Fill us with your creativity so that we may be empowered to bear the fruit of your mission. Let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with our desires. Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share what each being needs to grow and flourish. Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us, as we release others from the entanglements of past mistakes. Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate the opportunities of the present moment. For you are the ground and the fruitful vision, the birth, power and fulfillment, as all is gathered and made whole once again. AMEN[/quote]

IMG_5463In other words, my trip was incredible, amazing, awesome, wiggle making, loverly, and perfect.

The biggest shoe that dropped for me is that Faith is a choice. Just like courage, being cheerful, and not feeding Fear. Faith - choosing to know that a Universal Cosmic Consciousness/God loves us, watches over us, and wants us to be happy - is a choice. And as all choices - the more I practice the better I shall get at this.

The village of Abadiania sits onto of a large rock crystal - the moment I arrive, the whole body feels as though I have just had the best massage ~ and then the Entities start to work and WOWZA. I look forward to integrating what I learned, and I look forward to going back.

Heading to Abadiania, again, lucky me!!

(that is a view of GW bridge as the train goes under... gorgeous) The fact that I didn't misspell the name of the small town in Brazil where John of God hangs out is an indication of something. Something big. or not, yes.

Off to the land of mangos and meditation, again - and as I told a new friend - both of those are God.

IMG_5440 As are you.

As are me.

Holiness we are in this beautiful world.


Which means that me wearing wool socks with plastic sandals is holy too.

Which is awesomesauce.

I thank you God for this most amazing day...which is infinite, which is yes

[quote]i thank You God for most this amazingday:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any--lifted from the no of all nothing--human merely being doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e.e. cummings[/quote]

This poem brings tears - so gorgeous, especially the first two stanzas... "the gay great happening illimitably earth" - awesomesauce.

I took this picture as I flew back to the States from my whirlwind time in Germany as a great example of the great happening earth. On the plane I met a young lad (lad is such a fun word) who had never been to the States before (first time traveling solo as well) and was so nervous! It was such a treat to share with him that life is an adventure and that everything will work out beautifully.

Because it does. I thank you Universe for this most amazing day.

(the other picture was of sunrise that morning as we drove back into Frankfurt from our time with John of God)

Two weeks with John of God - supercalifragilistic expialidocious-ness

This falls squarely into the Miracle category - because I spent the whole time meditating and talking to Source/Essence/God/Cosmic Consciousness - whatever you want to call her and however you want to visualize him - that works for me. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious seems as good a word as any for mind-blowing, amazing, incredible, life-changing, awe-inspiring, peaceful, exciting, loverly, happy-making, faith-inducing, awesomesauce two weeks that I had in Brazil with John of God.

I am still grokking all of the good things that are filtering down as I stand here in absolute Faith that all is well (something that I had received glimpses of prior to going and that I am currently swimming in). As I shared with a friend of mine, I am surfing on a wave of Joy!

"You know Corinna, that joy never has to end. You could ride that wave FOREVER!"

So that is my plan. I am going to work on riding this wave forever. Set my intention to be filled with love and light and love. Did I mention love? Here are some pictures from my time down there. I would have a video from John of God doing surgeries, but I was in the current room, bathed in bliss (and you can find those very easily on YouTube).

We arrived to Brasilia, visiting a peace temple before arriving to Abadiania.

Our pousada was very heavily barricaded, one had to be buzzed in to gain access to the hammocks and the parrots in the garden.

(and yes, everyone wears white when you go in front of the Entity - it allows them to read your vibrations more easily)

The Casa is blue and white, peaceful, relaxing, beautiful, full of light and love and love. (Did I mention love?). It is bumping Wednesday through Friday, when the Entity is present. Otherwise it is mostly quiet ... mostly.

Every Wednesday through Friday many people gather in the great hall to be seen by the Entity - people from all ALL over the world. I am once again so grateful that English is my first language - everything at the Casa happened in Portuguese and English.

Here is our group with Medium Joao, after two weeks of bliss.

Thank you thank you thank you!!

I am filled with peace, love, excitement, faith, hope, compassion, anticipation, learnings, and miracles - Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!

Hello John of God. Goodbye phone.

I have seen John of God twice at Omega in Rhinebeck. He is not coming this year, so Mohammad is coming to the mountain. When I was in Germany one of the fabulous people I met there had a video of him and was making noises about a trip to see him. I became re-invigorated and took my own plunge to make the arrangements to join a group heading down (or up, depending on what side of the equator you are on...). I have packed just white (because it was early and I didn't want to think too much), I am not bringing plugs for phones, or wireless, or computers, or the kindle... I am bringing A Course in Miracles, a notebook, my mala beads, (perhaps a small camera so I can record what happens on these pages), and me.

as well as a great deal of anticipation...

(Considering that I could barely talk for a week after I saw him last - which is a big feat for me - I can only imagine what swimming in this bliss for 10 whole days is going to do to me. Or rather, what I am going to co-create to allow to happen to me. Cheers to cleansing and clearing and healing and yippie!!)

John of God at the Omega Institute

Each morning we started with the prayer of Caritas: [quote]God! Our Father, who is power and goodness, provide strength to those who experience pain and anguish. Give light to those who seek the truth! Fill the human heart with love and compassion! God! Give the traveler the star that guides, solace to those in pain, and rest to the sick and weary! Father! Give the guilty repentance, the spirit the truth! Give the children guidance and the orphans a father. Lord! Let your goodness encompass everything that You created! Clemency, my God, to those who do not know You. Hope to those in pain. Let Your Will allow the consoling spirits to spread peace, hope and faith everywhere! God! May a single ray of light, a spark of Your Divine love blaze the Earth! Let us drink from the fountain of that infinite and fruitful goodness and all tears will be dried and all pain lessened. A single heart, a single thought will rise up to You, like a cry of gratitude and love! Like Moses on the mountain, we await You with open arms. Oh Almighty! Oh Greatness! All Powerful, All Beauty! All Perfection! And we wish in some way to receive Your mercy. God! Give us the power to help progress that we may rise up to You; Give us pure charity, give us faith and reason, give us simplicity that will make our souls a mirror on which Your image should reflect! Amen.[/quote]

And then we would say the Lord's Prayer

[quote]Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. Amen.[/quote]

And then we would recite Hail Mary

[quote]Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.[/quote]

I am writing these down because, except for the Lord's Prayer, I did not know the other two of them. Each of the three mornings we would have a series of welcome hellos/testimonials. Here are some of the fabulous tidbits that I jotted down.

From cheerful Norbeto, who started every talk with "Today is the best day of your life!" with a huge smile and his Brazilian accent!

[quote]Make a new way for your life. Smile more, sing more, happy more. Say this is the best day of my life! You respect your belief - your belief your life Love more We receive a body, after life we will continue as spirit as it once was. Sickness is an opportunity to understand we are spiritual beings. We came to the earth to understand we are spiritual beings. This is the greatest opportunity, loving all of divine creation from a space of humbleness. The life is very simple: what you believe is the life. It is important to talk about health and not about sickness. Between 10-11 is the "humor time" of night to sleep and 70% of us are on our computers and not getting that good "humor" sleep. There are 3 divine remedies for our health: 1) sleep from 9 pm-5 am 2) eat good food 3) life is what we perceive of it If I perceive a life of joy I become an enthusiast. Of you think you have what you need than you will have it. Repetition is important. Transform thoughts and beliefs into action. (I have joy, I have vigor.)  Change your internal dialogue. Being angry is a brief stint of insanity (when you are far from the Godlike mind). We can only take that step forward when we understand our fellow limitations of human beings. Congratulations on your existence! We are spiritual beings and we have a body. Faith is to believe what you do not see. The reward for faith is to see what you believe. We are what we think. On the mental level you can decide to laugh and smile. I give in this moment all things that upset me to God - release worries, hardships etc. And I receive from you God all that I need to say thanks to you God. Nobody can touch me unless I permit it. We achieve what we desire but we achieve much more what we are afraid of because we spend so much time talking about what we are afraid of. [/quote]

The morning of the second day Dr. Wayne Dyer spoke to us about his experience with receiving long distance surgery the previous spring after he was diagnosed with Leukemia. He speaks extremely well and I am going to seek out opportunities to hear him in the future. Dyer recited two poems. One by Samuel Taylor Coleridge and one by Tagore - the Indian Pulitzer Prize winning poet from 1927, and WOWZA.

[quote]I came out alone on my way to my tryst. But who is this that follows me in the silent dark? I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not. He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger; he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter. He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame; but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company.[/quote]

Here are some of my notes from hearing Dr. Wayne Dyer speak.

[quote]EGO - Edging God Out It is in the transcending of that ego that all healing takes place. [After his stitches came out from his intervention with John of God] I see love in everything I encounter. You see with a capital S. A host to God or a hostage to our Ego [from a Course in Miracles]. [/quote]

On Tuesday I received divine intervention from the entities and I could feel it in my abdomen, neck, spleen, and liver. On Wednesday I received divine intervention from the entities and I could feel it in my heart chakra and my brain. I was in a fog until about thursday morning and I feel as though I have received surgery - that I am recovering. Stitches are coming out tonight and tomorrow and we have 34 more days of the protocol. I am so freaking grateful.

Thank you John of God for your life of service.

Thank you for those who led me to you.

Thank you for my abundant health.



Reflections on the TEDxManhattan: 'Changing the Way we Eat' conference

TEDx Manhattan 2011

Photo courtesy of TEDxManhattan Flickr

Organized by The Glynwood Institute for Sustainable Food and Farming, the brochure described TEDxManhattan: “Changing the Way we Eat” as “an awe-inspiring, all day TEDx event focused on sustainable food and farming.” I was in awe to be able to attend the event in NYC on Feb. 12.

As we settled down into our seats from the flurry of business card exchanges and 30-second elevator pitches, I took out my notebook and started taking notes. Before the speakers began, I was nervous they would preach to the choir – reiterating those facts that pulled me into the food world to begin with: “It takes 10 calories of fossil fuels to produce one calorie of food” or “1.5 billion people are overweight and 1 billion people are starving,” or “Americans throw away more than 40 percent of the food they produce.” (Thank you PBS, WHO and the EPA for verifying those facts.)

During the course of the presentations from the diverse group of food advocates, farmers, food policy experts, and food lovers, I was reminded of those facts. But I also learned new information – the new information thus giving this member of the food choir new songs to sing.

You can see the entire webcast of the full three sessions until Feb. 26, so I will not summarize the entire event, but I will share what I found of interest. (Here is the first session, the second and the third.)

For those of you who watched the livestream at home, or at one of the viewing parties (perhaps hosted by Slow Food Huron Valley) the beginning of each of the three sessions started with a speaker from a TED conference delivered elsewhere. For those of us in the NYC audience we were watching a TED video on the screen along with people at home.

Carolyn Steel was the first to these TED talks and hers was entitled "How food shapes our cities." I was enamored the moment she noted Mesopotamia and the Fertile Crescent as the beginning of agriculture 10,000 years ago (I used to teach this fact to sixth graders in Washington, D.C.). Interspersed between her maps of Rome and London, she made several comments that have struck with me: “One-third of the annual global grain crop is fed to animals rather than us human animals” and “it takes ten times more grain to feed us via an animal than just to feed us from the grain” and “80 percent of food transport is controlled by five companies.”

Here is her talk if you are curious.

Cheryl Rogowski, a second generation farmer, told us, “Because I share my own seed I could be an outlaw. How can we let that go on?”

Karen Hudson, an outspoken advocate against CAFOs (concentrated animal feeding operations) in her home state of Illinois, illustrated the power of grassroots organization with her aerial photographs showing an 83-acre 47 million-gallon lagoon (aka lake) of animal waste outside the CAFO buildings. Hudson founded F.A.R.M. (Families Against Rural Messes) and their motto is, “Illinois – Land of Stinkin.”

Ken Cook, of the Environmental Working Group, gave a rallying cry for citizen activism with his Farm Bill breakdown. “The Farm Bill is a food bill,” and “Twenty-two Congressional districts receive half of all food subsidies,” and “40 percent of our corn crop is going to produce 4 percent of our fuel.” The next Farm Bill is slated for 2012; now is the time to call your Congressman.

Every nine minutes, a new perspective came to the podium: “Vote with your fork” (Josh Veirtel, Slow Food USA President), “if we are going to solve the health care problem we are going to have to solve the food problem” (Michael Conard, Columbia University), and “when we hand over these problems to specialists that is when we get into trouble” (Britta Riley,

Every nine minutes a new story came to the podium: Elizabeth U on social finance, Dr. Melony Samuels on her anti-hunger project in Brooklyn, Dr. William Li on the role of nutrition and angiogenesis and Professor Frederick Kaufman’s report of the coalition striving to come up with a sustainability index for the 150,000 items at Walmart.

Curt Ellis, co-creator of the movie King Corn, pitched his program FoodCorps – an AmeriCorps program to build Farm to School programs. He also shared startling statistics I had not heard before: “We have more people living in prisons in America today than we have left to make a living as farmers” and “Military leaders call [our obesity epidemic] a crisis of national security; already 27 percent of young men and women in America wouldn’t qualify for military service because they are too fat to fight.” Michigan is one of the inaugural states where you can apply for the FoodCorps program, courtesy of their partnership with C.S. Mott at MSU. Click here if you are interested in applying.

We learned about vegetables growing in the Bronx, rural food deserts in Iowa, and Blue Hill at Stone Barns Chef Dan Barber’s love affair with a Spanish fish (see below).

Being there in person was exhilarating, from Friday night drinks to the end of the conference on Saturday. The attendees ranged in age (voice cracking to silver hair), geography (Italy to Berkeley), and vocation (farmers (both of the meat and veggie variety), food centric filmmakers, doctors, farm-to-school experts, bakers, academics, chefs, restaurateurs, social justice advocates, horticulturists, writers, etc).

My choice to (mostly) eat with the seasons has spilled over to a greater appreciation to living with the seasons. Wintertime is a time of education, of reflection, of recharging, of planning before the abundance of spring bursts forth and hands dive into dirt. The TEDxManhattan was more than I could have hoped for – in all of those categories.

Here is the article on