So, obviously, the evening of May 7 was really an experience beyond words. Initially, I was euphoric. Totally high, in love with the world, experiencing the gift of oneness and in awe of what happened.
As the experience lost its immediacy and tactile sharpness - I spent time mourning the shift. But then, the Universe did something amazing (not that I am surprised).
I started receiving nudges reinforcing what happened - during a yoga class, or a conversation, or in my A Course in Miracles (ACIM) reading. Nudges that strengthened what I had seen or learned or understood (again, words are hard).
Here are the nudges I received from ACIM over the last 6 weeks or so. Nudges that led me to share my story.
#61: I am the Light of the World.
#62: Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.
#63 The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness.
#64 Let me not forget my function.
#65 My only function is the one that God gave to me.
#67 Love created me like itself.
#68 Love holds no grievances.
If I hold grievances I am attacking love, and therefore attacking my Self. My Self thus becomes alien to me. I am determined not to attack my Self today, so that I can remember Who I am.
This is no justification for denying my Self.
I will not use this to attack love.
Let this not tempt me to attack myself.
“Let this not tempt me to attack myself.” We are all the same!!!! (Thank you May 7) When I am passing judgement on myself, making myself feel guilty for not being good enough, or smart enough, or patient enough mom - I am attacking all of us. When I pass judgement on a Brother - you are an idiot, slow, unhelpful, irritating, impossible, etc. I am, in fact, saying I am unkind, I am immature, I am an idiot. ACIM says when we crucify our brothers on the cross - we are up there with them because we don’t recognize we are all the same.
It is in our own best interest not to pass judgement or hold grievances. Every time we attack someone else’s actions we then feel guilty about attacking ourselves and the circle goes round and round.
#76 I am under no laws but God’s.
#94 I am as God created me.
#95 I am on Self, united with my Creator.
You are one Self, united and secure in light and joy and peace. You are God's Son, one Self, with one Creator and one goal; to bring awareness of this oneness to all minds, that true creation may extend the allness and the unity of God. You are one Self, complete and healed and whole, with power to lift the veil of darkness from the world, and let the light in you come through to teach the world the truth about yourself.
“To bring awareness of this oneness to all minds” - felt to me like a direct nudge to share my May 7th story.
#99 Salvation is my only function here.
Salvation and forgiveness are the same.
#100 My part is essential in God’s plan for salvation.
Today we will attempt to understand joy is our function here. If you are sad, your part is unfulfilled, and all the world is thus deprived of joy, along with you. God asks you to be happy, so the world can see how much He loves His Son, and wills no sorrow rises to abate his joy; no fear besets him to disturb his peace. You are God's messenger today. You bring His happiness to all you look upon; His peace to everyone who looks on you and sees His message in your happy face.
This lesson really solidified for me that my fear around sharing the experience was not of God. That any sense of vulnerability or nervousness about coming out to the wider world as a Corinna who has emerged with God is not part of His plan. What do I need to be afraid of? I have already died. (hehe)
#101 God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.
That lesson, as I shared, totally blew away any guilt I had been feeling about cancer. The parallel would be the Black Death and the misguided medieval luminaries thinking it was a scourge from God.
#108 To give and receive are one in truth.
True light that makes true vision possible is not the light the body's eyes behold. It is a state of mind that has become so unified that darkness cannot be perceived at all. And thus what is the same is seen as one, while what is not the same remains unnoticed, for it is not there.
#109 I rest in God.
"I rest in God." This thought will bring to you the rest and quiet, peace and stillness, and the safety and the happiness you seek. "I rest in God." This thought has power to wake the sleeping truth in you, whose vision sees beyond appearances to that same truth in everyone and everything there is. Here is the end of suffering for all the world, and everyone who ever came and yet will come to linger for a while. Here is the thought in which the Son of God is born again, to recognize himself.
"I rest in God." Completely undismayed, this thought will carry you through storms and strife, past misery and pain, past loss and death, and onward to the certainty of God. There is no suffering it cannot heal. There is no problem that it cannot solve. And no appearance but will turn to truth before the eyes of you who rest in God.
This is the day of peace. You rest in God, and while the world is torn by winds of hate your rest remains completely undisturbed. Yours is the rest of truth. Appearances cannot intrude on you. You call to all to join you in your rest, and they will hear and come to you because you rest in God. They will not hear another voice than yours because you gave your voice to God, and now you rest in Him and let Him speak through you.
In Him you have no cares and no concerns, no burdens, no anxiety, no pain, no fear of future and no past regrets. In timelessness you rest, while time goes by without its touch upon you, for your rest can never change in any way at all. You rest today. And as you close your eyes, sink into stillness. Let these periods of rest and respite reassure your mind that all its frantic fantasies were but the dreams of fever that has passed away. Let it be still and thankfully accept its healing. No more fearful dreams will come, now that you rest in God. Take time today to slip away from dreams and into peace.
There it is, the final nudge - exactly what I felt on May 7.
Love to you all.