Letter to my children: Naps and Petticoats

Dearest Beloveds,

About a two years ago I had this idea for a collection of musings entitled, Naps and Petticoats. Aside from being a rocking title, I thought the first piece would be a place for me to share some of the methods I use to unwind and some of the things I do to deliberately spark my joy. So here goes - why wait?

Naps are part of our daily life. I have already touched on how much Gina Ford’s The Contented Little Baby Book rocked our world as new parents.

As you know, we have quiet time in our house after lunch. You are almost 5 and almost 8 - but the routine is set. You play quietly, listen to stories, color, or, if truly zonked out, nap in your rooms. This exhale in the middle of the day serves everyone as a small respite, a settle-ing, and recharging time. From my perspective it allows me to wake up early and do Amrit Vela goodness and not fall asleep at 7:30 every night. The humble nap is a gem derided at our peril.

Baba napped every weekend. Winkie was so devoted to her naps that she left luncheon parties to retire to her room (even one’s where she was the guest of honor). Waking up from a good nap I feel recharged, reset, and ready to embrace life.

When you get older you will understand that our life is incredibly blessed. I am very aware a real nap is the providence of my very privileged life. I can collapse on my own bed under a soft blanket with the shades drawn. However, before you attack me for my fatuity when you read this, most places I have worked have had a break room/store room/broom closet where you can hide for 15 minutes. Meditating is a cosmic mini nap.* (and you learn where the lightbulbs are kept, always helpful).

If when you get older, your job never stops, I would grab 2 extra minutes in the bathroom (hopefully that is allowed, if not make sure you really want to work there). Do belly breaths, say hello to your heart, check in with your toes, work to settle your body into the earth. Do a fake smile (because your neurons don’t care and the hormones of contentment will flood your body). Walk backwards for 20 steps (it immediately pulls you into your parasympathetic nervous system). Whatever works for you.

Petticoats might seem as antiquated, quaint, and unfashionable as naps, but the word is a stand-in for giving yourself a gift on a daily basis. I loved wearing many layers of skirts as a child and did go through a brief stint two years wearing a petticoat under dresses and skirts. It gave me such pleasure to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or sit down and see the decorative edge poking out beyond my knees. Petticoats cost money (unless you like upcycling and sewing) but there are plenty of daily pleasures that don’t.

Call a friend out of the blue. Use colorful pens. Make faces with your friends to try to make each other laugh. Watch a silly clip of something that makes you smile.

Both of these elements of rest and joy are equally important for one’s self-care.

Self-care and settling ourselves in the tumult of our time is our own responsibility and an integral part of growing up.

Which you both are doing in front of my eyes.

Love love love you

*Often I start meditating sitting up and then roll over on the bed - the classic example of a “medimanap”. Hehe.